Rejected...

How do you handle love not returned to you? How do you make someone care that you are hurt? I have identified my feelings over a matter and have felt some liberation, yet only to want to get even with the person that hurt me. I am good at getting even. I am great at telling someone how I feel and that they crossed the wrong path with me. I think that is called pride though. Lord I really need your help to not want  to think of those eye for eye feelings. I want to think like You.


You were rejected over and over and over. That must hurt your heart, but you are God. You are omniscient, You are sovereign.


The above was written a week ago. Since then our family dilemma has taken another course of action in a positive way. I have so many emotions. I thought at the time of those feelings of rejection I needed to give that person a piece of mind. The Word covers this in depth:


"How good and pleasant it is when brothers to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious oil upon the head, coming down upon the beard, Even Aaron's beard, coming down upon the edge of his robes. It is like the dew of Hermon coming down upon the mountain of Zion; for there the LORD commanded the blessing--life forever." Psalm 133:1-3


"Let love be without hypcrosy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay', says the Lord. 'But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:9-21

After typing that I am so thankful for God's grace. But my question is, when do you stand up for yourself? When is that okay? I felt in voicing my concerns to a loved one I was defending our family's feelings. I should not wear my feelings on my sleeve though. I assumed someone felt a certain way only to realize it was my own pride thinking I was the center of their world. How puffed up of me. Lord, the repentance is happening, but I want to clearly state what I am sorry for. However, I do not want to beat myself up because that is not holy. I am your creation. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Over my lifetime, I have taken a friend out of my social network for being negative all of the time because I felt it was bringing me down. I have told a friend I would not stand by her in her wedding as her maid of honor since she lied behind my back about something that would influence the rest of my life, and now I have told someone off for not including my family. My husband labeled it "hard core". Yes, I am hard core which means I am straight to the point and I don't spare your feelings. I don't neccessarily like that about myself, I just speak the truth when no one is speaking it. That contradicts brothers living in unity. My grandmother was wise in saying to let it go. So I am letting it go. I am realizing my I can choose my feelings just like I choose to have a positive attitude. I know it may drive me crazy, but I am going to choose to live in unity and not take the offensive. I can love more when I don't feel like loving at all. I need to respect others feelings more than mine.

I am ready to let the scars heal over and disappear. It is time. Do I really need to go around the mountain again? Lord help, because I can't do it in my strength.